I hate my life. I hate the people around me. I hate school. I hate the people who work in the school. I could list all these names and how they have hurt me so much, one by one.
I want to leave.Do you know how it’s like to pretend you’re not affected, and speak like a bimbo or bitch about how you’re feeling.. Like it doesn’t matter. But omg FUCK!!!! You don’t know how it’s like!!!!! I just want to go up to the studio and scream at all of them. So much anger and hurt. From my boyfriend who cheated on me with a skank to my supposed close friends who hates me cos they think I’m stupid for giving him a chance to the lecturers who idk wtf…… What the shit is NAFA? I don’t belong here. Every single day I wake up depressed and thinking what have I done to deserve this. Support? WHAT SUPPORT WTF. I’m just another slave, a ball in this stupid game. Whether I make it or not I’m still the loser. I really don’t deserve this. The sweetest people turned out to be as ugly as the lowest. And I really want out.
My decisions are knives, staring back at me
These wounds have yet to heal
How dare I make the choice again
Only to step into suicide
I am unconvinced
But I really wish to be
Commit or omit
I can’t lose
For I have so little left
If you know you can’t make me happy
Then leave me be
So scary to fall and find so much beauty and adoration in one human being. I’m scaring myself all over again. I am so indecisive I can’t even decide how I should feel. Happy or not? Contented or not? You make me feel less depressed but when I realize how this is all just in my head, I’m back to square one.